Wordless Wednesday: "Falling" Around

Linking up with 

today.

Also, check us out over here
guest posting over at The Domestic Wannabe's "A Day In The Life" series...

Thanks Ashley and Ryann!

HOTTLT

Lovely Lilah's Mama can be found over here today,

guest posting about BLW.

If you're not a follower of Holding On To The Little Things already, 

your missing out on some serious cuteness 

(if beautiful baby Scarlett doesn't make you wanna snuggle, you're soul-less)

and one of the sweetest new Mama bloggers out there 

(Jordan you're amazing!).

Thanks HOTTLT for asking us to share!

Guest Post: Amy

So we've reached the end of our Guest Posts...

Amy and I have been friends since middle school (although we lost touch for years, thanks to FB we have been able to reconnect).  She is an incredibly talented wedding photographer 

and an attentive mother to precocious Chloe.  I love seeing her FB posts showing all the adventures she and her daughter have, as well as the way she captures those memories on film.

It is impossible to put into words the last 2.5 years since my daughter Chloe arrived.  Words like amazing, exciting, and challenging only scratch the surface.  I don’t think I was fully ready for how much she would change my life, and how much I would be responsible for shaping her world.  The last 6 months have been chock full of new developments, almost like someone has pressed her fast forward button.  Each day she surprises me with the things she says, and the logic that she is beginning to grasp.  I often feel like I am one learning from her, as she teaches me to look at the world in a completely different way.  As a photographer, one of my favorite things to do is spend an afternoon with her exploring and preserving the memories we make with photographs.   I know I will cherish every photograph we make, and look back on our times together, for the rest of my life.  Becoming a mom can be such a whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities,  the days feel like they go by in a blink.  As I make my way through the balancing act of running my own business, and being Mommy, I am so lucky to have her here to remind me to stop and smell the flowers.          

Thanks to all the fantastic Mom's that participated in our guest post "week"!

Guest Post: Hollie

So since Blogger decided to go down at the end of last week, I am continuing with my last few guest posts...

Hollie is a friend I met in my twenties, when life was more "carefree" (which is a nice way of saying irresponsible.)  She has always been one of those women that other women (and men) want to be around.  Her ability to walk into a room and transform any dull situation instantly into a fun one, is such a rare and enviable quality.  It is that same attitude that carries over into motherhood for her 

and her darling girls are lucky to share in it:

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• I like to think most couples plan far in advance once they’ve decided to have children. Some people, including a few of my closest friends and family members, spend years and big money doing everything possible to increase their chances of becoming parents.  My own story, on the other hand, is quite the opposite!  Despite not one, but TWO back-to-back unplanned pregnancies, the love I have for my two beautiful daughters (only 14 months apart in age) still amazes me every single day.

• Tysie Nicole (named after a brilliant, beautiful, creative, one-of-a-kind old bar tending buddy of mine) and Kenzlie Jean (named using a collage of favorite friends & family names), are currently 1 and 2 years old. Each day they take my breath away. They are the greatest gifts from above and have changed my world forever for the better. Being their mother is indescribable, even if it was not exactly what I had planned.

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• In 2008, life was crazy!  Not just the normal day-to-day crazy.  I’m talking over the top down right hectic! I was nearing the end of my senior year at California State University Fresno, planning my dream wedding to my very own prince charming and facing 2 possible promotions at my 40+ hour per week place of employment. Somehow, in all that madness I managed to schedule an appointment to have my wisdom teeth pulled. Looking back now, it seems ironic that they are called wisdom teeth, since the week of the appointment I managed to miss the fact that my birth control prescription was up.  Need I say more? 38 weeks later, post college graduation, a sober honeymoon spent 3 1/2 months pregnant and two promotions, I was granted the ultimate promotion... to "motherhood". Fast forward to Tysie's 5 month "birthday" and the gift was a second set of positive pregnancy tests which led to the birth of her sweet sister, Kenzlie Jean. 

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• Life with a full time job (which luckily, I love), a hard working hubby and these two beautiful babies so close in age, is wildly whimsical and also momentarily madness at times!  Here's how I keep it all in perspective... 

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  These are a few of MOM’S favorite things:

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  (name that tune)

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  Hand prints on windows and toys in the kitchen 

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  Lost a left sock now she's lost her left mitten

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  Stinky diaper genies all tied up with strings

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  These are a few of MOMS favorite things

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  Fresh breast milk and no spit up on my brand new blouse

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  Now I pay someone to help clean my house

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  Binkies and blankies and no more night screams 

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  These are a few on MOM’S favorite things

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  No stains on white dresses with blue satin sashes 

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  kisses on my chest with her tiny eyelashes

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  Bumbos and Boppees and diaper rash creams

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  These are a few of MOM’S favorite things

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  When the kid bites

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  When pump stings

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  When I'm feeling sad

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  I simply remember MOM’S favorite things...

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  And then I don't feel so bad!

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Guest Post: Shally

Shally is my Aunt (it's a complicated genealogical story so just go with it)!  She is a mother I admire and aspire to be like.  Not only has she always been a valuable sounding board for my incessant questions, but her perseverance and unconditional love for her children is so inspiring...

I did not come by motherhood easily. It was such a struggle. I saw people all around me getting pregnant and bringing new babies into the world while I was left empty handed. For years my husband and I went to doctor after doctor. We prayed, we hoped, we cried. It was a long, hard road. It changed who I was-- but not in a bad way. I know this may sound cliché, but I truly look into the eyes of my children now and am so grateful that they are in my life. I will never take them for granted because of all those sad years where I thought that I might never have the chance to be a mom. 

I told you it may sound cliché.   But it’s the truth. I truly love being a mom. 

I always say, “Be careful for what you pray for.” Because after years of wearying God with our prayers, he blessed us with 4 children in 5 years. We adopted our son, Jaxon first. Two years later we did IVF and I became pregnant with twin girls, Braylen and Serae. We thought we were done, but a year later, surprise!! Cambry was our bonus baby. 

Life was good. I was extremely busy with 4 kids under 5, but honestly, I never felt extremely overwhelmed. I didn’t have much time to myself, but I didn’t care. I finally had the family I wanted. I was a mother! That’s all that mattered. 

But life throws you curves…

When Jax started kindergartenm my husband and I started noticing our son was more than just a rambunctious boy. Something was different?  Something was wrong? He was overly angry, and incredibly defiant. He started having complete meltdowns that would literally last for hours on end. We kept telling ourselves that it was us-- that we just needed to parent him differently. We bought all the parenting books we could get our hands on. We researched everything we knew of online. When his behavior continued to escalate, we decided to take him to the doctor. He was tested for ADHD, and ODD…the diagnosis they came back with was "Childhood Depression". We were shocked! Jax was a very outgoing boy- and seemed so self-assured. We decided it was time to start therapy. 

January of 2010 was the first time we were told about RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). Jaxon's therapist suggested that this may be what Jax was suffering with.  Naturally, we googled it. It talked of abused and neglected children, children adopted from orphanages. That was not our son! He had been placed with us at birth. It was a loving and seamless adoption.  Thinking it just didn’t fit, we dismissed the diagnosis.

But I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. And unfortunately, Jax was getting worse…

I continued to research and immersed myself in as much information as I could find. My sister ended up finding a support group 3 hours north of us for mothers of children with RAD. I put it off for months, but things at home with Jaxon were getting harder by the day. It had reached the point where I decided I could not live the way we were living anymore. In June 2010, I finally made the drive to see what RAD was all about. 

As I sat in a room with 20 other parents who were sharing stories and listening to each other, I remember just sitting there crying. Sobbing. My tears were both tears of sadness for what Jax was dealing with, and tears of utter elation!  I had finally found the diagnosis for my son. 

I could finally help him.

By this time, Jaxon had started running away. He was seven, and had no fear of just leaving our home by himself and not coming back. He was angry and violent. I was angry. I would open my eyes in the morning and cringe at the thought of dealing with him and the frustration of what the day might hold . I wasn’t the mom I wanted to be. I was sad, stressed about him and the effect this was having on my other children, and way out of touch with myself. His actions were destroying our family. It was such a dark time. 

RAD causes his brain to not attach to anyone. He doesn’t know how to feel real love, or how to show it. He can fake it-- really well, actually, but he can’t feel it. He lives in a constant state of fear and anxiety. He masks it well to others, but it shows itself at home through hate and anger.  Because of this, we immersed ourselves in therapy and relied on the love of the support group. It changed our lives to finally know what we were up against. 

It has been over a year since I started down this path of healing and understanding with my son. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, to say the least. My family is not the perfect picture that I had always imagined, but we are also so much stronger than I ever thought we could be.

I am a different person. I am a better person. I am a better mother. 

I have learned so much during these trying times, but I think the biggest thing I have learned is that motherhood isn’t just a title. It is a journey. 

And you can’t do it alone. 

I hear people all the time say that they could never deal with what I deal with on a daily basis. Some days, I can’t believe it either! But do you know what? I feel strong because my Heavenly Father carries me when I need Him to. It was hard to let Him at first. It feels strange to get on your knees and pray when you spent the day getting yelled at, or yelling back for that matter. I felt unworthy. I felt tired and lost. But when I finally did turn to Him, I felt a peace that only He could give. 

I can’t be the mom I need to be without Him.

For me, being a mother means more than having a child. It means loving when you don‘t get love in return. It means embracing when you are pushed away. It means learning to let things go, remembering  the hurt child behind the angry words. I have learned to love a child that doesn’t love me back right now. 

And I do love him. I have seen what Jaxon is like on the inside, once you get past the walls he builds. I have seen his heart. He is stronger than he knows, and I look forward to the day when he can see that for himself. 

In the meantime, I will be the mother he needs, even when he doesn’t want me around. I will take extra hugs and kisses from my girls to make up for the ones he won’t give me. They shower me with them, and it helps me get through the hard days. Oh, how I love them. Their smiles and their giggles are priceless. Their little hands wrapped in mine melt my heart. I smile just thinking about them. There are mornings when the three of them wake up early and crawl into bed with me and snuggle. I smell their hair, and touch their skin. They are all mine. 

I try not to let RAD rule my life. I take it one day at a time-- sometimes one hour at a time. Although there is sadness almost everyday, the happiness far out weighs it. I have learned that it is okay to feel both. 

I will always truly love being a mom--even with the challenge of raising a son with a severe behavior disorder. It may not be the perfect picture I had imagined 12 years ago as a newlywed, but it is my picture. 

And I am going to make it the most colorful, vibrant picture I can.  

(Jaxon with Lilah)

Guest Post: Sherry

Sherry is a super-busy mom to cute-as-a-button Clara, over at Young House Love (check out all the AMAZING home improvement projects they have in the works).  I love the ease with which she has embraced motherhood.  The fact that she is a "baby-wearer" and also introduced us to B.L.W. (Baby Led Weaning) doesn't hurt either.  Thankfully, she was kind enough to take some time to share her top three Mommy moments from the past year:

There are about a million favorite moments that have occurred over the last almost-year that Clara has been around, so it's really hard to pick just three. I'm pretty sure I have about thirty a day (she clapped! she tried to say doggie! she accidentally winked! etc). But these three might be burned the deepest into my memory, at least I hope so because I never want to forget them. 

#1. Clara's birthday. Our sweet girl came into the world in a terrifying and heart-stopping way (you can read her birth story here) but after the chaos died down and we were assured five million times that everything was ok, we were left starstruck. Totally and utterly amazed by the tiny girl who had changed our lives so profoundly just a few short moments after being born. We were a family. We had a daughter. I was a mom. John was a dad. It was almost too much and I remember having that full feeling where it's hard to swallow because it feels like your heart is swollen into your throat with pride. Best. Day. Ever. 

#2. Eating spaghetti. We went to visit John's granny in West Virginia along with a bunch of other family members a few months ago and when we got there we all went out to a big Italian dinner. Clara has always been a spirited eater (the girl eats broccoli, fish, even kale - pretty much anything you put in front of her) but we're kind of used to it by now so we're immune to the vacuum that is our daughter at mealtimes. Let's just say that her intense spaghetti sucking was so vigorous and noteworthy that at least four strangers and two servers came over to say they had never seen such a young baby girl eat so mercilessly. People were jokingly asking if she hadn't eaten in weeks. I remember thinking it was hilarious and feeling oddly proud that we have such a great little eater. 

#3. Squishy face. That's what I call her whenever she wakes up in the morning or after a nap. She's just so quiet yet alert and she has this slow squishy expression that transforms from "huh" to "wheeeee!" as she wakes up a little more and slips into a huge grin. I love that sweet sleepy moment that I get to steal with her at least three times a day (thanks to two naps and one morning wake-up call) and I honestly hope it lasts beyond her teenage years. Not likely, but a mom can dream...

xoxoox,
Sherry (& the fam)

(Thanks Sherry for "sherrying"... we feel a litte "famous" over here at "Lilah A Day" today!)

Guest Post: Lisa

Lisa is a young wife and new mother to sweet Aubrey Jane!  Her joyful approach to motherhood is so refreshing to me (in a sometimes cynical blogging world).  Check out her new blog, "Tales of A Young Housewife", documenting the  ever changing and adorable Aubrey, as well as her journey into motherhood for the first time as a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom)...

Mother's Day has always been about celebrating my mom and showing my love for her. It always will be this way, but this Mother's Day will be a little more special. This year I had the wonderful experience of becoming a mother myself. Some were quick to judge me and my husband's decision to start a family so young, and perhaps we are. But when it comes down to being a mother, I've learned that age has nothing to do with the love and hard work it takes to be a successful one.

Don't get me wrong, motherhood didn't come very easy to me; being the youngest in my immediate & extended family didn't help. I'm so grateful I have had such a loving mother to help me with all the "Is this normal?"s and the "What do I do if?"s. I've honestly never appreciated my mother as much as I have the past two months that I have been a mom. The 2 a.m. feedings, less-than-desirable diaper changes, rocking until your arms are numb, spit up all over your new shirt, (etc.) experiences make me realize how hard my own mother worked for me and I love her so much for it. 

This Mother's Day means more than it ever has (or probably ever will) to me because I finally can appreciate on a personal, own-experience level, how unconditionally mothers can love. My daughter's sweet smiles, warm cuddles, & complete innocence are truly amazing, and she's what makes me so proud to be a mom this Mother's Day.